We start in King’s Landing with Jon and the crew rolling up in the spot armed to the teeth, and Dany flexing in absentia – Unsullied in perfect formation and Dothraki riding up to the gates like demons from hell. Jamie and Bronn watching from the ramparts like, ‘We’re so going to die if this shite goes sideways.’
Everyone makes their way to the Dragon Pit and The Hound sees Brienne’s already there and looks shook to his bones while Brienne’s looking at him like, ‘Blink wrong. I dare you.’ They have a little conversation wherein The Hound professes his admiration for Brienne’s ability to beat the brakes off him and they congratulate each other on raising their little murder baby – Arya – right. It’s friggin’ adorable.
Once everyone’s settled at The Dragon Pit and Cersei has had time to stew Dany rolls in on Drogon like, ‘Hey Cersei. What’s good?’ Cersei’s talking so much shite and Dany’s trying to control the eye roll and doing a piss poor job of it but manages to keep it together long enough for The Hound to come out and drop that wight on everyone. Cersei and everyone else (who hasn’t seen them) jump out of their skins, well, except Qyburn who came about four times in four seconds at the sight. Jon’s all, ‘Listen up, I don’t care about your bs, we’re all going to die if we don’t band together,’ with Dany jumping in with ‘Also? I saw them myself and there’s literally over a hundred thousand of them. Easily.’ Jamie is shook to his core and even Cersei like, ‘Well. Shite.’
However, even in this, she goes for the power move by trying to make Jon pledge to stay neutral in the war between her and Dany. Jon, being Jon, refuses since he already pledged himself to Dany. Which, apparently, no one but Dany knew about. Cersei immediately rolls out because a Stark/Targaryen union is pretty much the end for her, and she knows it, while everyone else yells at Jon for being too damn honest. The thing is? Jon’s right on several levels:
- Lying is the quickest way to end any alliance and they don’t have time to be questioning anyone’s honesty.
- Pledging to Cersei in anyway is the easiest way to have a Northern Rebellion, even more than allying with Dany.
- Jon’s not Ned, he’s not going to trust any Lannister but Tyrion to behave with honor. Ever.
Tyrion concedes that he’s right but that doesn’t matter because without Cersei pulling her people back they’re all screwed. He goes, against everyone’s wishes, to speak with Cersei and convince her that fighting with them is in her best interest. Lena Headey and Peter Dinklage are fire during this entire scene. It’s heartbreaking and honest and raw and so well done. It seemingly works and Cersei makes sure everyone know she’s helping despite her misgivings. However, Cerseis are going to Cerseis and of course she was playing everyone: sending Euron to get the Golden Company on the DL. This information is the absolute last straw for Jamie who is like, ‘Are you kidding me right now? Do you not understand how much we’re effed no matter how this goes down? What is the matter with you?’ Jamie straight bounces but not before a heart stopping moment where I honestly thought Cersei was going to order The Mountain to kill him. I kid you not I was seriously terrified for Jamie for a minute. Jamie was too, if the look on his face is any indication and again, kudos to Nikolaj Coster-Waldau and Lena Headey for selling the danger of this scene.
At Winterfell the best moment of the episode, possibly of the season, happens: the ending of Littlefinger. First of all, I love it when I’m right and I said in previous reviews that Sansa and Arya were going to kill Littlefinger. All the pieces were there from the moment the three Stark children reunited: Sansa’s political acumen, Arya’s assassin skills and Bran’s supernatural abilities. As much as Littlefinger prided himself on ‘seeing all the possibilities’ he didn’t see so many Stark children not just surviving but coming back leveled up.
He’s been floundering from the moment Jon was crowned King in the North and it’s been downhill ever since with him constantly scrambling to try and get leverage. The thing is, unlike the Lannisters, the Starks don’t eat their own. They know, from hard experience, what happens when they get too involved with outsiders and they’ve learned, rapidly, what each other’s strengths are. This was evidenced in the how of Littlefinger’s demise: with Sansa calling all of their bannerman to witness, Bran pulling all the receipts and Arya committing the deed. It was fantastic, so well done and so, so long overdue. Rest in Hell Littlefinger, you smug arsehole.
- The Hound’s hatred of all things Lannister is seriously the funniest damn thing.
- Theon recovered his spine just in time to eff up Cersei and Euron’s entire backstabbing plan. The power of forgiveness goes a long way.
- I am so mad at the Night’s Watch for not firing everything they had at the wights the minute they saw that one whitewalker come through. They should’ve immediately started evacuation and then had everyone else firing on them mofos. Seriously, what good are you guys?
- Y’all didn’t really think that Cersei was going to work with everyone right?
- Sam taking credit for Gilly’s discovery is every woman in an academic environment, ever.
- I think Sansa’s going to find out that Jon is the true heir before Jon and Dany do.
- ‘His name is Aegon Targaryen. You have to protect him.’ – NGL I cried.
- Incest Boatsex. That is all….
This episode ends in the worst way possible: an undead Viserion bringing down The Wall at Eastwatch with Tormund and Beric standing on it. I was so shook you guys. So, so shook. I need to know if my favorite ginger and one-eyed priest are alive and I have to wait two years to find out! This season has been a rollercoaster but this finale was phenomenal.
Five Dragon Skulls out of Five.