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Fall 2013 Movie Preview

Well the summer blockbusters are past us and if you missed it, don’t fret because most will be out on Blu-ray/DVD soon if not already.  As a matter of fact The Great Gatsby just came out last week.  But as the weather starts to cool down let’s look at some of the fall and winter movies that are coming and whether or not you should go see! If you aren’t going to see, I know I am.

By all means regardless of the weather see these movies

Ok, I will be honest, not a lot made my list as it’s hard for movies to create a buzz where I feel like I absolutely feel like I must run to see these but if I had to, I would go see these:

The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug

Ok sure we can all argue about the fact that 1.) there is no way in hell that Steven Jackson needed to make 3 movies from the shortest book of the LotR series and 2.) if they had eagles, why not just FLY the rest of the way?  It still doesn’t stop us from going to see how it all works out and while it still may not capture all the magic of the original movies, it still doesn’t make it less fun.

Jack Ryan

While it may not be Mission Impossible or The Bourne Identity, I have some faith that Chris Pine can do some things with this role that Alec Balwin and Harrison Ford did decades earlier in resurrecting this character.  Oh yeah, Ben Affleck did Jack Ryan in The Sum of All Fears.  Still scared of him in Batman?

Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom

Not to be confused by Winnie Mandela starring Jennifer Hudson, this flick will, in my opinion, make or break Idris Elba’s career in much the same way, Malcolm X really made Denzel Washington’s career.

If you got a few hours to kill and some money to burn, go see these

Some of these movies at first glance are a kneejerk must go run and see and some I actually will but when on second look you may want to walk or stroll or at least get others’ opinions before going to see. Don’t get robbed if you don’t have to.

Thor: The Dark World

Yeah I said it, Thor.  Yes, I want to see this but when I think how underwhelmed I was with Iron Man 3 and Wolverine. I feel as if it’s missed opening weekend, it will get seen before the first 2 weeks are out and definitely not in 3D. I don’t doubt that Marvel’s ability in putting out good movies but not to the point where all things must be dropped to go see.

Ender’s Game

Yeah this is one of those movies who had a trailer out around the time that Man of Steel and Pacific Rim was released and your kids said “OOOOoooooo…Mommy! Daddy!   I need to see this!”  and some how you will get hoodwinked into seeing this.  Yeah, the trailer looks good but outside of the lights and shiny stuff, how well of a story will be told considering the book came out nearly 30 years ago…yes, it’s been that long.

These movies are guilty pleasures

So these movies are worth going to see in the theaters but whether or not you tell your friends that you actually paid money is another thing.  You want to see these because you like them but…you may just go cross town to go see just to make sure you don’t run into anyone that you know…but still anyways because they wanted to see it too.


Ok, come on people. It’s Vin Diesel and you already know what to expect so you should already know to not raise the bar on this movie.  But let’s be honest, it would be nice to finally not see him racing cars for just 5 minutes, right? Hey everyone’s favorite Starbuck is in it and does anyone remember Bokeem Woodbine?  He’s in it too. I got 5 dollars that says he dies 3rd.

The Family

This almost should go up a category but for some reason every time I see the trailers for this movie, it walks a fine line between possibly being funny and then absurdly stupid. The more I start warming up to this movie the more I get reminded of Seven Psychopaths, so my expectations are tempered for this.

Machete Kills

This one is easy.  1. Buy tickets and popcorn 2. Find a seat.  3. Turn your brain of and watch Danny Trejo do his thing for about 90 minutes.  This movie you will probably find a lot of your friends watching with you  and Sofie Vegara’s guns, too.

Are you sure you don’t want to wait for the blu-ray?

These are borderline watchable but I get the feeling that you may walk out wishing you waited for the blu-ray / Redbox release.

Escape Plan

See Machete Kills  but replace Danny Trejo with Arnold Schwarzeneggar and Sylvester Stallone as they actually star in this potential trainwreck  with Jim Caveziel and Sam Neill

Winnie Mandela

Terrence Howard as Nelson Mandela?  Are you serious?  No.  Yes, the movie will hopefully focus more on Jennifer Hudson playing the wife of one of the greatest modern day leaders in Africa but Terrence?????   Did anyone see Red Tails?  That’s what I thought.

Battle of the Year

Sigh, yet another dance movie, but you know the kids may want to see this and you may get guilted into seeing it.  And they will want the 3D. Good luck.


Sandra Bullock and George Clooney trapped in space?  Can someone tell me how to do this for 2 hours of film time?

Last Vegas

This actually may be pretty good depending on how much you want to see Deniro, Freeman, and the rest probably make old people jokes for 2 hours or so in a possibly tamer yet older and mature version of the Hangover. To be honest, if it’s better than the Hangover, I wouldn’t be surprised.


Why the hell are you seeing these?

I think it’s obvious. It’s about 1 and a half to 2 hours of your life that you will wish that you had back regardless if you saw this in the theater, on cable or even bootleg.  Your life may be much better off just not seeing it.


Ok really, how many more times can this movie be remade before someone says “Stop!”?  Watch any version and you already know what happens.  A bucket of blood and a huge fire…oh, I’m sorry…SPOILER ALERT!  But seriously there has been 2 or three movies since 1976 that will tell you everything you need to know about this one without you wasting money and time to see it again.

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

I still refuse to see the first one and from what fans of the book said, it’s not worth it so I may take that as a hint to not see this one either and woe be to you that hated the first one that hopes for redemption in this one.

Tyler Perry’s A Madea Christmas

……do I need to say any more? There isn’t even a trailer for it yet!!!!!!!  However if you feel a need to know what it may be like, you can watch clips from the stage play.


Ok, this movie in my eyes is going to be bastardized the same way that The Departed was. If you ever saw the Asian version then you will understand why I don’t think that this one will even hold a candle to it. Sure, Spike Lee is directing but this movie has a twist within a twist that is so shocking, it’s one of those movies that should have been left alone.  I honestly don’t think that Spike can pull this one off i don’t care if Sam Jackson is in it.

47 Ronin

Keanu Reeves?   KE ANU FRICKIN’ REEVES?????????   And for anyone that is saying, “What are you talking about?”  Let me refer you to “The Last Samurai”, which coincidentally, came out 10 years ago. Yet another movie that doesn’t need to be remade especially with the lead not being Japanese. Oh sure it looks stylish and CGI’ed to death but most of us got duped by Sucker Punch the same way.

So, this is just a partial list of some of what’s worth seeing and not coming this fall.  I am just waiting for someone to ask why didn’t I include Cloudy with Meatballs 2 or Anchorman 2 and it’s because I didn’t particularly care enough about then to include, but hey you are welcome to tell me if it’s any good! Otherwise, your miles as always may vary and of course if I missed any please feel free to comment!

About Armand (1271 Articles)
Armand is a husband, father, and life long comics fan. A devoted fan of Batman and the Valiant Universe he loves writing for PCU, when he's not running his mouth on the PCU podcast. You can follow him on Twitter @armandmhill

3 Comments on Fall 2013 Movie Preview

  1. Wait a minute. Is that Sawyer? IN A DANCE MOVIE??? WITH CHRIS BROWN???


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