**This post is peeved and full of spoilers**
This review is later than usual because I can honestly say I’m still livid right now. So many people complained about the writing for the previous episode, and the tactics used by the characters and frankly, those were valid complaints. However, this episode had so many unnecessary issues and just straight bullshite happen that I don’t know where to begin.
Now that the Long Night is over everyone is processing differently, which is fair: the undead rose and everyone almost died. That’s the kind of thing that changes you. Gendry is now fully recognized as the legitimate heir to Storm’s End and Robert’s son and looking to put a ring on Arya’s hand but Arya’s not about that royal life; Tormund is taking the Free Folk to Castle Black to settle in The Gift; Brienne and Jaime finally make good on the fact that they’re actually in love with each other; Davos, Varys and Tyrion are contemplating how, despite surviving the shitestorm of the last episode, they still have to deal with other humans and that’s far worse. There’s a lot going on but the biggest thing is the mess that is the Stark/Targaryen alliance.
Listen. I adore Jon Snow. I’ve been on team Jon Snow and Team Stark since jump, both for the book and the show. However, this having Daenerys behave like a effing lunatic and utterly disregard both common sense, and her own advisors, to make it easier for everyone to rally behind Jon shite is getting on my last nerve. It undercuts both of the characters and their growth and that’s before the misogynistic AF conversation between Varys and Tyrion that boiled down to: well, more people will follow Jon because he has a penis but if they get married he’ll ‘temper’ her worst impulses. Just…what? Y’all really went there? You really looked at GRMM’s writing for this entire series and had two of his more empathetic characters say this shite? Really. Okay.
So, instead of having Dany behave in a way that makes any sense, both from a logical standpoint or character one, we instead get her insisting on going after Cersei immediately. Despite literally everyone going, ‘But, can we get a damn nap first?’ Dany bulldozes on, blatantly ignores Sansa’s advice to talk to the generals – to find out where the troops are mentally and physically – therefore sowing even more dissent and alienating the one person who truly gets what she’s been through in a way none of her other allies ever could. Then, instead of going to Dragonstone her entire plan is to Leeroy Jenkins King’s Landing even though Jon and Davos are like, ‘That is a terrible idea, but go on then I guess, we’ll catch you on the King’s Road.’ All of which leads to two things that absolutely did not have to happen: the deaths of Rhaegal* and Missandei.
First of frelling all, someone needs to rip out Euron Greyjoy’s spine and feed it to him. I am done with Pirate Effboi and him shooting poor Rhaegal down was the last damn straw, but honestly that was Dany’s own fault. She is officially a terrible parent, not even letting those babies heal after the massive damage they took fighting the Night King’s armies. Jon should’ve kept Rhaegal with him or sent him off with Ghost because he’s shown more care for that dragon in the last few episodes than Dany has in all the previous seasons. Don’t at me either: she locked those babies up in a damn dark dungeon, in chains, instead of training them properly. I haven’t forgotten shite. The Seven help that baby she’s probably pregnant with if she makes it out of this alive.
Then there’s Missandei’s death. Listen. The conversation we need to have regarding how this show treats women and POC bodies is a long and drawn out one that I don’t have time or enough alcohol in my system to deal with. What I will say is that the optics of killing the only woman of color left on this show, of having a former slave chained up once more in death, are not good. Especially after the utter garbage fire they made of the entirety of the Dorne plot. The only points I’ll give is that Missandei went out with dignity and grace, as she lived, basically telling Dany to kill every single person in King’s Landing with one word.
The North Remembers
The credits for the show continue to reflect the state of the realm which means that Winterfell looks like utter shite right now.
All of y’all talking about Jon taking Ghost with him, I bet after what happened to Rhaegal you not talking that shite now. Jon still should’ve petted the best boy before he left though, that puppy lost an ear for him dammit! Listening to Ghost’s little whimper for Jon made me cry.
*Euron looks real damned surprised and terrified in that preview which is the only hope I have that Rhaegal isn’t dead.
Did these fools just have Sansa say that all the rape and terror she endured made her a better person? Is that a thing that happened?
I knew this episode was going to take a turn because everything was too calm. The last time we saw that many smiles and lack of violence on this show Walder Frey and Roose Bolton were out here stabbing pregnant women and turning on their king.
Brienne should’ve picked Tormund. That is all.
We’re going into the final two episodes and I honestly don’t know what to expect, and not in a good way. This episode was so sloppy and poorly written that I have legitimate fear for how things go from here. These people had two years to get this right and I’m genuinely scared that they’ve wasted our time and theirs.
Two Bolts out of Five