It’s a new year but the same old bullshit keeps happening so let’s laugh now so we don’t start the new year crying.

10 Weird Crap Keeps Happening

20 Goto 10

• Sometimes the headline is just so perfect you don’t need to write a snarky joke.

• Blood is thicker than 87 octane.

• Shave & a haircut…2 felonies!

• I for one welcome our new Dyson overlords.

• The jailer man and sailor Sam were searching every one for the ham on the run.

• This is what happens when you order a badger and mushroom pizza.

• Reduce. Reuse. Retirement account is now fully funded.

• Linda, honey. Linda, listen to me honey.

Okay. I’m ready to sleep until 2021, but since that isn’t viable, I will continue looking for more WTF stories to share with you next week. If you see something WTF-worthy hit me up in the comments or find me on Twitter at @arrpeebee.