Life is an infomercial and we’re all that schmuck that can’t open the bag of potato chips.

I don’t get to do ANYTHING fun anymore!

Jack Napier was right. The whole world DOES need an enema…

• He really put the “P” in “Parole

• Did I call the cops when you were steaming those stinky damn Brussels Sprouts? No? Then shut up!

• How did they Nazi that coming?

• Affleck was the BOMB in Phantoms, yo!

• I am the one who is a knockoff

• This is Nancy Taylor, she makes sounds like a chipmunk when she gets really excited

Okay. I’m done for this week. Time to refill my coffee cup and stare at that squirrel picture until Monday. If you see anything WTF-worthy send it to me here or find me on Twitter at @arrpeebee and until then I’ll see you in the funny papers!