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How Real Men (and ladies) should act…and not wait til 2014 to do it

A friend of mine pointed me towards this blog (click it and keep it open) and while some of it has merit, there was more of it  that just screamed, ‘common sense’ or better yet, “If you haven’t learned this by now, you just  aren’t ever going to do it.”  It didn’t help either that I saw the author’s other blog about being a lady and in one of her pieces of advice had to do with taking boys shopping.  I would think that if a lady went shopping with a male companion, he wouldn’t be addressed as a boy, so how about a rebuttal for some of that advice for 2014.

(while you are at it, click this open too because this may get referred to also.)

1.        Men and drinks – well let’s start at the fact that real men and gentlemen should never have the word ‘swag’ in their vocabulary.  Not only that if you are going to have your signature drink and can make it well, how about learning her likes too and being able to make HER favorite drink as well.  That’s just called being considerate and thoughtful. (now I said all of that but we aren’t going to even discuss the fact that she leads off the blog endorsing even by default, drunken behavior.  Sure men  should be able to  fix a mean drink but, isn’t there an epidemic of men getting women messed up off of roofies and mollies? I mean if anything how about asking a gentleman to moderate his drink in case SHE gets sloshed he can get her home?)  I’m just sayin’.

2.       Talking about social media in real life –   People do that?  Meh, real men have more important things to talk about.  Truth be told if you can’t keep up on current events or what happening internationally, then maybe you two shouldn’t be together. Most real men don’t make the center of their conversation about what’s happening online.  Let’s add to that, if a man and a woman is on a date, and one of them spends more time on their phone tweeting or facebooking, and the other party is  dumb by staying the whole date and not saying a word about it, you are  really thirsty. (you all know what thirsty is right?)  And yes THIS is allowable in your vocabulary.

3.       Holding the door –  I agree on this one, BUT real men and gentlemen (and even ladies) should never HAVE to be told this because it’s a common sense thing that should happen. Right?  Your parents DID teach you this one at an early age.   If you don’t know to do this, you just weren’t raised right. But, how about the few women that act as if they are privileged and get attitudes and who can’t part their lips to say thank you for the men that do?  Ladies look, just because we hold the door open for you, we aren’t trying to get into your pants, we are doing this because we were raised right.

4.       Always texting – This one makes my mouth twitch.  Whatever happened to the phone call? Whatever happened to people actually talking to each other on a personal level and doing the dirty work of breaking off a date or rescheduling something?  A text or an e mail is so impersonal. A real man will make sure that the person in question that he is breaking off a date with knows exactly what’s going on through voice contact. Leaving a text is lame.  No one should ever be that busy where they can’t take time to place a call.  Think of it like this. The time that it takes to type out the text, you can hit far less buttons on your phone and ring them up.  If you start the job, finish the job.

5.       “Rocking” suits – Kind of coming back to number 1.   Let’s take the work ‘rock’ out of your vocabulary.  Sure most people will say one but in my opinion and it is just mine,  a real man has not just one but AT LEAST 3 suits he can not only wear but wear well.  That one suit that you think he should have, does it fit?  Is it clean?  Will it work for the occasion? What about shirts, ties, shoes and other accessories?  Real men have that covered with more than one suit but then the real question is, can he tie a tie? *wink*

(and did I tell you that number 10 in the ladies of 2014 a lady is expected to have an outfit for an interview, a first date AND going home to see family? Yes, that actually happens.)

6.       Handshakes – again a common sense thing.  Real men already should have that covered.

7.       Cat calls – If this is something that has to be discussed then maybe women need to change what kind of men they are dealing with. But then again, no one should have to tell you that.  When we consider men to be gentlemen, things like ‘catcalls’ and other childish behavior should already be long since gone out of our system and left back in high school. I reiterate, if a lady has to tell a man why that is wrong, there shouldn’t even be a discussion, leave the boy and  up your game.

8.       Accessorizing – refer back to number 5. And yeah we actually agree on this but I still say, real men have this covered.

9.       Referring to things as ‘gay’ – How about just not using it?  There are some gay people who don’t like being called ‘gay’… even by ladies.

10.   Not putting others down – Easily covered under Matthew 7:12 (<–-that’s called a biblical quote for heathens that don’t attend church)

11.   Call your mother – you have to tell someone to do this?  Really? You have this feeling that at this point we were running out of steam?   I am guessing that was just a fill in before coming up with number 12. ( and in the blog for the ladies of 2014, this was never mentioned but don’t say I said that)

12.   Know how to cook – I agree with this as well and at the same time,  real men would NEVER ASSUME A CHAUVINISTIC STANCE that women should do all the cooking!  And while we are on the subject of cooking. REAL LADIES can cook from SCRATCH. Stop with all that out of the box cooking!!  I know far too many women out here who don’t know what a cast iron frying pan is for nor how to make chicken or  salmon.  Real talk, the way to anyone’s heart is through their stomach and trust when I say my wife and I BOTH can cook and cook well.  Real men not only can cook but also will serve her in bed.  Real men know her favorite meal, and real men make lesser men mad at their skills. Heck, real men know how to switch it up and create something new.

(and I am not going to even divulge that in the other blog for the ladies that she tells them to ‘be able to cook on the fly”.  I won’t even tell you that it’s the lead off statement. Naaaaaah…that’s not sexist, right?)

13.    Make good Eye contact -…yeah yeah again more common sense

14.   House parties and political views – Kind of goes back to number 2 but that’s dependent on the people.  However, if you broach the subject and give him an opening to speak on it, don’t get mad if he knows what he’s talking about and all you have are the bullet points.  If anything give a real man credit for being knowledgeable as well as knowing when to step down off the soapbox.  And calling out libertarians?  There are many Dems and GOPers who are just as egregious when hogging the party with their politics.

15.   Erase the word slut – Real men already done that, but we also need ladies to stop downing men every chance that they get.  And if you want us to really stop considering some of you as such, then your best friend who portrays that image, either stop being around her so people won’t have the wrong impression about the company you keep or help her become a real lady.  Let’s meet in the middle. If you don’t want to be called out of your name, don’t bring yourself shame.  This applies to men too. We all treat each other how we want to be treated.

16.   Respect – I just covered that in 15.

17.   RSVP – that was covered in 4.  But let’s add to that. How about showing up on time?  Real men live by a motto of showing up early is on time, on time is late and late, don’t bother. I have a friend who has had a list of dates that just couldn’t be bothered with showing up on time.  If I RSVP with you to anything, I expect to be shown some consideration by just you being where you are supposed to be and when you are supposed to be. And if for some reason you can’t make it on time. CALL AND SPEAK.  Because most of us men can think of other things we could be doing, besides wondering why this inconsiderate jerk of a woman can’t be bothered to call and say “I’m running late” or “I can’t make it”.

18.   Saving money – again agree self explanatory. Real men got that blah blah blah BUT…BUT….BUUUUUUUUUUUUUT.  Most real men don’t wait til the end of the month, we do it every paycheck!  Pay your bills first and then pay yourself!

19.   Being upfront about finances – Agree and disagree on that point.  You don’t need to know everything about my money on the first date or even for the first couple of dates.  Real men will  know if that lady is into him or in his pockets and eventually if her intent is true and honorable she will get to know about the finances.  Not to mention most ladies will already have a sense of what the situation is anyway.  Finance is a part of what makes a relationship works but if that is your focus upfront, it makes you ladies look like a gold digger. **Passes the hard hat and pickaxe**

20.   Sleeping around – I can’t argue with that one but it goes both ways.  Some women really are sluts and some men are dogs. But you know what, we are all grown adults too and some people just want a good screw and are honest about it and if you can’t be then maybe you are not about that life.

21.   Learning to dance – (mumbling) I got a good 2 step

22.   Flowers – Agreed.   Also any random surprise makes it special and it just doesn’t have to be flowers but also to the men, if you know your lady, then you know the value of not just getting roses but also other plants like irises. To the men; do you know the difference in what the different colors of roses represent? And again ladies, what comes around goes around, if you have an expectation that at some point a man should arbitrarily surprise you, it doesn’t kill you to do the same thing. A greeting card costs less than 10 bucks (and my God are they expensive these days!) if you know each other’s likes and dislikes some surprises are easy.

23.   Selfies – Real men don’t do selfies. Yes. I disdain them. I abhor them. Vanity much? The time and effort you take to run into a bathroom and pop a selfie, you can get someone to take an even more decent picture of you.  MEN never let yourself be ‘that dude’ popping selfies.  To me they scream, “Ooooo look at me, nobody else can photograph me but meeeeee…I am so alone and my self-esteem sucks.”  ESPECIALLY if you do it at someone’s wedding or funeral.

24.   Being compassionate – Number 24 more or less sums up really how people should be and in theory, should have led that whole blog off. and let’s again refer back to the ‘not putting others down’ rule.

On a whole the blog should be really asking that people treat each other they want to be treated but a lot of things that went into this blog are things that we should already know or just targets men. These are things we should not only be teaching our children but to each other. No matter how much we dress up, look nice or speak nice, our ACTIONS are attractive.  Also, most of us have expectations of what we are looking for out of others and sometimes we knowingly excuse deplorable behavior because we want the wrong thing.  I’m sorry ladies but if he was a womanizer or boozer before, it’s hard to get them to change. Guys if she was a flirt before, well you have to choose to deal with it. There are just as many women who will take advantage of a good man and then complain about why they are single when some of these same rules for men should be followed. But in my own opinion, a lot of what she writes, to me, are things that was taught when I was much younger and I mean before I was out of high school. At the same time however it’s sad that we still have to remind people that some common sense is needed if you want to find that right person.

Real men and ladies should have certain standards they have in dating because you can’t change everybody.  While some of the points in her blog were valid, they screamed to me of ‘what kind of people are you meeting?’ and if these are some of the things that people are finding out here in the dating world then as a whole someone needs to raise the bar with simple common sense and decency being the key.

And as we finish here is 25

BE YOURSELF. 

About Armand (1271 Articles)
Armand is a husband, father, and life long comics fan. A devoted fan of Batman and the Valiant Universe he loves writing for PCU, when he's not running his mouth on the PCU podcast. You can follow him on Twitter @armandmhill
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