The Philadelphia Flyers want to kick off the season with the screams of children everywhere.

We are just over a week away from the first puck drop of the 2018-19 NHL season and for those of us who are hockey fans the excitement is building with every moment. As a long-suffering Washington Capitals fan I am still living in a dream come true, but with every dream there must be a corresponding nightmare. This season that nightmare is Gritty, the new Philadelphia Flyers mascot.

Internet, meet Gritty.

“I’m here to eat your children”

This is the last thing you see in Philly when you order a cheesesteak the wrong way. This is what happens when you walk into a Wawa and declare your love for all things Sheetz. This is the thing that threw batteries at opposing players or snowballs at Santa or when you cheer after Michael Irvin hurt himself. This is the only thing you can cosplay as in Hell.

All I can think is that the ownership and front office of the Flyers said to themselves “You know what people love? The Phillie Phanatic. Why don’t we destroy all of his horcruxes and see what happens?”

I’m just going to hide behind Slapshot whenever the Flyers come to town, thank you very much.

“I got you, fam”