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The 2016 Summer Flicks to Avoid

In a few days, Captain America: Civil War will release, thus kicking off this year’s batch of new movies.  As excited as we may be for some of these movies, we all know that some may not be worth the price of admission. All the money we shell out for things like IMAX, 3D super screen with reclining chairs, smell-o-vision, etc., may turn into disappointment if it doesn’t deliver.   We took a look at this year’s lineup and these are some of the movies we think you should save your money on.

Harry’s opinion

Angry Birds

Why are we even still talking about Angry Birds?  This is a game that came out back in 2009 and peaked somewhere around 2012 or 2013. Since that time, people have moved on.  Now don’t get me wrong, there still may be kids who will enjoy this movie but I have a feeling they won’t be as excited as they would have been 2 or 3 years ago when Angry Birds was deluging the world with commercials, t-shirts and more

Rating:  If the kids are feeling it, go.  Otherwise, wait for HBO.

Suicide Squad

Yes, I may be that contrary one, but I have zero desire to see this movie.   With the slate of DC movies being the way they are, one can’t help but think that Suicide Squad is WB’s way of trying to capture that same crowd that helped Deadpool break records.  Furthermore, hearing rumors that your movie went back to reshoot scenes in order to inject humor (or action depending on who you believe) reeks of desperation. Most of all, I am not feeling this cast so, August may come and go and if I don’t see this movie, I won’t feel bad.

Rating:  Wait for HBO

Dishonorable mentions:

Independence Day: Resurgence –  Really?  20 years?  For a SEQUEL?  Nah…

Ghostbusters – We have already discussed our displeasure with the franchise and in particular Paul Feig’s failure with casting Leslie Jones.  Even if there was a way to watch movies in the afterlife, I still wouldn’t watch this.

 

Doug’s opinion

The Legend of Tarzan

C’MON!  Why do studios keep remaking this story??  Since 1918, there have been THIRTY FIVE live action Tarzan movies.  Now, we have the new The Legend of Tarzan coming out on July 1.  I’m sorry, I know that Alexander Skarsgård is a great hit with the ladies (and some gentlemen), and I truly like Christoph Waltz’s acting.  However, I just can’t bring myself to go out to the theater and spend a bunch of money to see a story I have read (yes, it was a book series long ago) & seen multiple times before.  We don’t need another one shoved down our collective throats.  Sure, this may be a “sequel” to 1984’s Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, but I just don’t feel the need to sit through it.  I can’t say that I’ll mourn not seeing this on the big screen.

Rating:  Wait for the DVD/Blu-Ray if you really feel like paying for it, but otherwise wait for HBO.

Dishonorable Mentions:

Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping – I have never been a fan of Andy Samberg, and I can’t stand stupid comedy for stupidity’s sake.

The Magnificent Seven – Again with the remakes!  Just go buy a copy of Akira Kurosawa’s Seven Samurai.  The original is the best.

 

Ashley’s opinion

Ben-Hur

To piggy-back off Doug, here’s a remake of the 1959 Oscar winning film.  Let me ask you this, how many remakes of classic movies have you actually liked? There’s been so many, Wikipedia had to create two separate pages in order to list them all.  Let’s just say I’ve little confidence in this film.

Rating: Wait for HBO or RedBox.

Jason Bourne

Did we really need another Jason Bourne movie? I guess  Matt Damon was looking for something to do, but all I could think while watching the trailer was “man, he’s starting to look old.”  Plot-wise, this film looks to be no different from the other three (four if you count the Jeremy Renner film, where they tried to pass off the franchise), and I really REALLY hate the shaky camera effect during action sequences.  Plus, Jeremy Renner is reportedly getting a Bourne sequel.  How is this all going to make sense and fit together? I have no idea. Nor do I really care.

Rating: Wait for HBO or Redbox.

Dishonorable Mentions:

I am Wrath – Another generic action movie with the same tired plot: man’s wife gets killed, forcing man to go kill other people in revenge. And don’t forget the strip club scene. There always seems to be a strip club scene.

Last Days in the Desert – JESUS CHRIST WAS NOT A BLUE-EYED WHITE MAN. For God’s sake, Hollywood, how many times do we have to go over this?

Belle’s opinion

X-Men Apocalypse

I never been a big fan of the X-Men movies, they stray so far from the source material and somehow manage to be soulless at the same time, wasting fantastic cast over and over again for Bryan Singer’s obsession with Hugh Jackman. This one is no different and has confirmed for me that the only X-Men movie we’ve ever truly had is Deadpool.

For the record anyone who skips on Suicide Squad will be missing one of the best movies of the year (yeah I said it) Well….after the obligatory disagreement with Harry, here are my movies to avoid…. (By the way I will be the FIRST person in line to see the new Magnificent Seven, so really I guess I’m just contrary by nature)

Ratchet and Clank

The list of movies based on video games that are worth watching is almost as short as the list of planets that can support life. That being said I don’t have a lot of hope for Ratchet and Clank.  The series obviously legendary, there has been a R&C game for every Sony console and system since PlayStation 2. Getting Paul Giamatti and John Goodman as voice actors is a step in the right direction, but what can this film provide viewers as an experience that wasn’t done better as the game.

Rating: Wait for On Demand (there’s a chance it might be fun to watch with the little people)

Code of Honor

I used to love Steven Seagal, Under Siege (aka Die Hard on a Navy Battleship) was one of my favorite movies….in middle school. Since then most of his films vary between “had potential but missed the mark” The Glimmer Man to “man I wish I saw him in more films” Machete.  I’m tempted to go this this film, but the plot of Seagal as a former special forces operator seeking revenge for the murder of his loved ones has been done so many times that all I can think of is “I’ll watch it when it comes on Cinemax”

Rating: Not holding my breath

So, what movies are you planning to see this summer?   Are there any you are going to skip, and do you agree with the sample listing that we have here?   Hollywood is doing its best to get audiences in seats, but are we really happy with what they are offering?  Please be sure to comment

 

About Armand (1270 Articles)
Armand is a husband, father, and life long comics fan. A devoted fan of Batman and the Valiant Universe he loves writing for PCU, when he's not running his mouth on the PCU podcast. You can follow him on Twitter @armandmhill
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