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These are your so-called heroes

For years, some of these characters, we looked up to and we thought of as heroes.  They fueled our imagination by making us think that we could be great just like them.  But, with a closer look at some for their actions, maybe these so-called heroes are really just as bad as the villains they are fighting.

This is a list of some of our so-called greatest heroes who are really just…bad people in a nice package.

  • Luke Skywalker (and by proxy Obi-Wan Kenobi) – Luke’s claim to fame is the destruction of the first Death Star. With that loss, nearly a quarter to a half  a million lives (depending on the source) were taken in that one instance.   Sure, you could say that the Death Star also snuffed out millions on Alderaan but let’s consider this.  Obi-wan snatched up an unknowing farmboy from a backwater planet. He also gives him a dangerous weapon that he needed years of training to learn how to handle. Within a short length of time Luke goes running through a space station with some guy and girl he just met, killing countless soldiers who were just doing their duty. Obi-wan could have also said, “Luke, by the way, that girl you are hanging out with?  That’s your sis. And she is gonna have sex with that dope dealer I hired. So calm yourself down.”   Somehow he ends up in the cockpit of a spaceship (I mean really, no background check? No flight exams?  You just show up and you immediately are entrusted to a ship? What military allows that?), takes out a few more experienced fliers before dropping 2 torpedoes into a hole killing everyone on said space station.   Real talk: Obi-wan, in his bloodthirsty fight against Luke’s father, could have saved countless lives (and a planet!) if he had just ended Anakin on Mustafar.  If you cut off my arms and legs and I am still able to draw breath, and I got a guy like Palpatine on my side, I will come find you and end you!   So, THANKS OBI WAN!

  • Gandalf – Somehow this has the same concept.  A few innocent young hobbits just sitting around in their hobbit holes in a backwater part of the world when some random old dude just shows up and takes them away from home.  (See how this keeps happening?). These guys wind up doing a lot of walking as old dude disappears.  In a short period of time they are killing soldiers who are just doing their duty, they have killed spiders, large oliphaunts, trolls and more. Before you know it, a big brouhaha breaks out over a ring. Countless thousands die over this One Ring! Human, elves, dwarves,  orcs…even the family dog!   Things got so hectic that even TREES got involved!  You know it’s bad when entire forests decide that NOW is the time to come to life and get involved. Speaking of, even the undead get pressed into service to do what the living can’t!  FOR A RING!   It’s not until the waning moments of this series that we learn AFTER the ring was destroyed, that Gandalf had EAGLES!   Yes!!!  Fricking EAGLES!  If destroying one ring was that innocuous, Gandalf should have just hired an eagle to fly him over Mt. Doom and drop it in on his own.  Think of the orc lives that could have been saved. Let’s go waaaaay back a second.  Think about it, Gandalf knew for at least a half a generation that Bilbo had that ring.  He waited until Bilbo was too old and feeble minded to not only take that ring but get Frodo involved.  Gandalf didn’t even have the decency to suggest to Frodo to put th erring in a lockbox and instead that poor hobbit is forced to wear that ring around his neck. Even after Frodo rid himself of the ring, he suffers from a form of PTSD.

  • Maximus Decimus Meridius – He is actually somewhat an anti hero because all he really wanted to do was go home.  His problem was, he got caught napping when he GOT home.  Look, his friend, the emperor asked for a favor.  Look after Rome for a little while as he got his act together because the emperor knew that his son was a bastard.  Maximus couldn’t do that one small favor, and heck, he KNEW that Commodus was a bad seed.  He even knew that Commodus killed him and instead of handling business on the spot he got caught.  Then…as he was about to get executed, he manages to escape. Maximus then arrives home to find that Commodus has exacted revenge for Maximus’ escape. Instead of setting out right then and there to take that fool down, he takes a nap! Next thing you know…BAM!  Instant slave.  He even has ANOTHER chance to kill Commodus in the arena but changes his mind because he doesn’t want Commodus’ nephew Lucius to see.  Wait a minute; didn’t the boy just watch you take out an entire team of gladiators not moments before?  One more life wouldn’t have mattered and it could have been explained.  It’s not until the end of the movie that Maximus finally gets his revenge on Commodus and at that point, we are left to wonder if Rome didn’t just descend into anarchy at that moment.  I mean it’s not like people were really begging for change, right?

  • Tony Stark – On one hand, he could be the poster boy for someone that came out on top for alcohol addiction. On the other hand, this man is a true monster. Just within one storyline, he gets away from kidnappers after realizing that they are using his tech for WMDs. Then he builds an armed and armored suit, goes BACK to the place he was kidnapped from and used those same weapons to cause instability in that region. Why not let the military handle this instead of his one man war on terror?  In another instance, this armored vigilante gets a kid involved with his personal crisis when he has a mental breakdown. Of course who can forget the alien invasion that caused massive destruction and chaos to NYC.  After the battle was over, you would think that he and his so-called Avengers would go and help clean up the damages, help with casualties and help take care of all the people they displaced?  NO!!!  They stop for shawarma.  Mother frickin’ shawarma. If that wasn’t enough, Tony decides to play Dr. Frankenstein by giving life to an AI.  Not once really, but twice.  Thus Ultron and the Vision are born. Thanks to Ultron another foreign city suffers mass destruction to which Tony and his Avengers didn’t stay behind to clean up.   Somewhere the government must be furiously debating how to classify artificial life. Even as of now, it’s rumored that Tony Starks has another war coming and he is recruiting super-powered kids to his cause.

  • Ellen Ripley – This is what happens when people are allowed to sleep too long. Let’s remember, when she was awakened, she had no family and hardly any support.   While whatever passed for medical care did give her mental help, she was always a bit unhinged.  She did manage to get a job and that really should have been the end of that but no. The Weyland-Yutani Corporation, moneygrubbers that they are, make a corporate decision to include a civilian (Ripley) to go investigate why one of their colonies went offline. To show just how much the W-Y company did poorly in truth-telling, they send Ripley off with Carter Burke on a fake mission to destroy the aliens when in reality, they want to capture them.  Realistically speaking, the xenomorphs were minding their own as natural extraterrestrial laws dictates and then humans, just showed up out of nowhere and started gentrifying the planet that the xenomorphs were on.  Thus the aliens instinctively fought back to keep their habitat intact. The W-Y company was merely there because of money.  Throughout all of this, Ripley manages to get a platoon of experienced marines killed, puts the life of a little girl (who was doing just fine on her own and eventually dies much later) in danger and kills off what looked to be an indigenous species. As a matter of fact, she did it by turning the colony into a nuke costing the W-Y company an unheard of amount in losses and no xenomorph to show for it. Consider this, Ripley could have just told the W-Y company to send an army of Bishop androids to assess the situation and lives could have been spared. Instead a xenomorphic species was destroyed simply because they were following their nature.

  • Jack Bauer –  it’s amazing how many lives are affected in a 24 hour period that Jack is let loose.  He has tortured people that he may thought were useful and sometimes wrongly, he has been the cause of innocent folks losing their livelihood, and alienated his friends (some of whom he has tortured by the way)  thus sacrificing moral values for ‘the greater good’.  Worse is that during these times we have seen at least 2 or 3 US Presidents and senators deposed or killed. If anyone has caused any instability in the US government, Jack Bauer is chiefly responsible. He has been responsible for nearly starting wars between us and either the Chinese or the Russians on several occasions. The agency he works for isn’t much better because almost as soon as Jack is on the job, not too far behind a mole is discovered in the midst.  Again it’s a failure of an agency to take better care of finding out who is working for them and instead just hire any breathing person off the street. I think it can easily be said that jack Bauer is a disillusioned extremist.

Honorable mentions:

Superman – 1978 – You mean to tell me that he and 3 villains fought in the middle of NYC and he waited until they flipped a bus over before deciding that downtown Manhattan was a battle ground?   2016 – He vs an army of Krytonians messed up a good portion of the planet by way of terraforming and a limited war. Afterwards, we are supposed to trust him to protect us.  He couldn’t even stop a bomb in a Senate hearing.

Batman – since when did Batman start killing people?  All they were doing was guarding some kryptonite that he threatened to steal.

Harry, Ron and Hermione – Ok, these kids may have looked like angels but they were real menaces. At least Malfoy owned his bullying.  But these kids snuck off of school grounds, were in the halls without hall passes…they even imitated a few of their classmates and even got a few of their classmates killed when they weren’t getting them into trouble.  Worst of all, they wound up dropping out of school.

These are just a few of the people that we call ourselves looking up to as heroes.  The next time you decide to get behind the so called winning side, consider that the ones you call heroes are the real genocidal maniacs, bullies, and anarchists!

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About Armand (1262 Articles)
Armand is a husband, father, and life long comics fan. A devoted fan of Batman and the Valiant Universe he loves writing for PCU, when he's not running his mouth on the PCU podcast. You can follow him on Twitter @armandmhill
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